Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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