Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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