TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
