what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize
