8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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