this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
