And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
