you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
