She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Randomize
