How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
