I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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