I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
