I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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