margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
