I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
