But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
