I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
