Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
