It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
