Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
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