Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize