I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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