are you still at the devil's house?
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
