Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
