Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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