It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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