remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
