the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i drank out of a bidet.
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He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
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After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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