my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
