So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
