Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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