gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
