wanna go halves on a baby?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Randomize
