You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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