I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
