so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
