if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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