just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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