Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
