im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
