i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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