You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
