So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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