Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
