And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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