i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
