I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize