Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
