Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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