Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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