I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
