we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
