Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
