He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
