he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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