i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
