If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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