meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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