grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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