girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
