Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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