Sponge bath it is.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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