I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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