Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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