we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
