Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
