It's Friday. Sex?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
