just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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